I'm coming home
by PeetaTucci
Summary: -AU- Peeta Mellark has been an drunken victor for 5 years, but after an arranged engagement and an "Accident" Peeta brings himself to return to District 12, a land, to him, which speaks of a dark past. But now murders are going round, is anyone safe?
1. Prolougue: Broken strings

_**A/N – AU Peeta Mellark has been broken hearted for five years. Not a soul in the whole of Panem hasn't heard of Peeta Mellark, and he can get any woman he desires. Yet none are what he want. The only person he will ever love never loved him back. And she broke his heart on the alter. Now, can Peeta cope with familiar faces, family, an arranged marriage and the man he had loathed for so many years?**_

_It's my wedding. Nothing can spoil that._

I frown at myself in the mirror, adjusting my suit. I run my fingers through my hair, try to straighten up. I've been feeling like this all day, something has been off. Not right, I swear, I just can't put my finger on it…

I'm surprised when my best man, Gale, appears behind me.

Choosing him as my best man doesn't seem right. Gale loved my fiancé, Katniss, for years. Yet she chose me. Gale isn't my friend, never will be, but he's not my enemy.

"Nervous?" he asks me, raising one eyebrow.

"Yes. Very." I say, looking down.

Before I can protest Gale is right behind me, talking, no _growling _at me.

"I know she picked you, but if you _ever_ hurt her in one of your freaky seizures, I will personally drive the knife through your back." He growls at me, his stormy grey eyes piercing trough my soul. Before I can defend myself, agree, whatever, he's gone.

He has a point though.

I don't want to think about the nights when I have to go outside, to remember I'm safe. Nobody is going to kill me. I'm safe. I'm safe. I'm _finally-_

"Peeta." Says a bridesmaid. "Your turn."

Standing at the alter is either like standing on your grave or your stairway to heaven. You're nervous. You're scared. What if something goes horribly wrong? Times that by a thousand. But everything goes away once you've seen the most perfect person walk down the isle towards you. Forever.

Katniss looks perfect. Perfect and scared. Is this all a massive mistake in her mind? I'm just praying she won't run away…

"Katniss Everdeen, do you take Peeta Mellark as your lawfully wedded husband during sickness and health?" the priest says.

"I do." She says, tears of joy in her eyes. I hope they're tears of joy…

"And do you Peeta Mellark, take Katniss Everdeen as your lawfully wedded wife?"

"I do," I swear, without a flicker of doubt.

"If anyone has a reason that these two should not be together, please speak now or forever hold your peace."

There's a silence for 2 seconds before a response comes not from the audience, but right beside me.

"I object!" Gale yells across the hall, shaking the chandelier above us.

All eyes turn to him as he continues.

"Katniss, you can't marry him." He insists, taking her hands.

"I love him." She says quietly to Gale.

"I know that. But Katniss Everdeen cannot marry Peeta Mellark," Gale says. Katniss locks eyes with me and takes my hand.

"Because she's pregnant. With my child."

Katniss finally has the decency to look away.

When I was a child, my mother hit me so hard I fell and hit my head on the stone floor. The pain was so blinding I almost blacked out, struggling to breath, to speak, to even cry. That's how I feel now. Numb.

I look a Katniss for second, before her eyes start to well up wit tears. She looks into my eyes, sorrow brimming in her tears.

"Please say you still love me." She whispers.

I drop her hand, and swiftly walk away. Down the isle, through the doors, into the square. I hear cries after me, but I ignore them. Ignore the world, black it out. I knew her love was too good to be true.

I'm sitting by the town fountain, face in my hands. What seems like forever I spend sitting, face in my hands, eyes closed. When I open my eyes it's dark, and I hear a group of male voice thick with drink a few meters away. Looks like the drama earlier wasn't enough to spoil a good party. When I take a closer look I notice Gale is among them, laughing with his friends. How _dare _he?

Before I can stop myself I walk up to him and punch him straight in the jaw.

"That's for knocking up my wife." I hiss at him. "Don't even talk to me again."

He just laughs, and punches me straight back.

"I'll think about it why'll I'm sleeping with your wife." He teases. Walking away with his friends. Everyone's laughing at me. The fool. The laughing stock of district 12.

From a distance away I see Katniss, still in her white dress. She catches my eye for a second, only took shamefully look away.

As far as know I'm staggering to Haymitch's house, hand on my jaw.

When I walk in the stench of alcohol is so overbearing I almost faint. Yet I stagger into the kitchen where Haymitch is slumped on the table his hand wrapped around a red bottle.

"Here to complain?" he says. "Here to tell me it's not her fault? Because it is. She could live a thousand lifetimes and not deserve you."

I take in his words, surprisingly he's the only one let who still cares about me.

"I'm here for drink" I say.

He laughs and hands me a bottle from under the table. And I take an immediate gulp. It's fiery, but it relaxes me. I down more and more and more.

That should have been my child. Not his. I never hated him, but now I loathe him more than anything.

As fore her, did she ever love me? No, she settled for me. We all know this was going to happen anyway.

**How was that? Review, I HAVE COOKIES! Also check out my one shot, wherever you will go, love ya. :D Update when I can…**


	2. Chapter 1: The news

**A/N - Thank you so much for your lovely reviews, I love you all.**

**Apart from you! Yes YOU! Review now!**

**Review Reply: Yes, this is a Katniss/Peeta fic**

_Lyrics:_

_I'm coming home, I'm coming home._

_Tell the world I'm coming home._

_Let the rain wash away, all the pain of yesterday_

_My kingdom awaits and they've forgiven my mistakes_

_I'm coming home, tell the world I'm coming home._

_Skylar grey and Diddy Dirty Money: I'm coming home_

_5 years later_

When I wake up the gleaming lights of the Capitol, I feel that impulsive feeling of happiness. I hate the Capitol, I hate the lights that are too neon, too bright, too overbearing.

_I hate this stupid city_

But today is okay. The sun is bright and a fine layer of snow has sheeted over the buildings, half disguising the sickly colors. Autumn leaves have begun to fall leaving a sheath of sunset orange leaves on the side walks.

_Orange is my favourite color, Real or not Real?_

Real. Yes. Not the color that matches the gaudy style in the Capitol. They haven't changed. The capitol are still shallow even after the rebellion. They never exprienced what we did. My hunger games were terrifying. The pain, the injury the...

"Love"

I know today is going to be bad, these little moments of content are going to be squashed in a matter of seconds.

As if on cue the telephone starts to ring and Aauboria's name is flashing. There goes any chance of happiness.

I reluctantly pick up the phone. Aauboria's voice almost scares me with it's oh so chirpy tone and annoying highness.

"Peeta!" she practically yells.

"Yes?" I say wearily back to her.

"I have something that is going to get you so much media attention! Not that your not already a heart throb and icon at 23, but _this_ will make you massive!"

"What is it?" I say reluctantly. What can it be?

"Well, Aimmee Green was a victor in the 73rd Hunger Games, she won at 16, same age as you. She's from district 1 and she's very..." she trails off. "Confident." she concludes.

I remember her now. She was beautiful, long red hair and big blue eyes, willowy and slender. But she was a career, and hell, she could kill brutally.

"What about her?" I ask nervously. "What is she to me?"

Aauboria is silent for a moment before saying:

"Well, your future partner..."

"Oh..."

For a normal person this would be a massive shock, a bomb. But for me, it's kind of expected. I mean Aauboria kept saying stuff like:

"Peeta you do need to settle down!" or "Everyone loves a good wedding."

And I knew I would get no say in this matter, I mean, what does my opinion matter? But I wanted to be older. And maybe_ meet_ the person...

I hang up the phone and pull out a bottle from my cupboard. It's only eleven but I'm already stressed.

I down without stopping, not because of the depressing fact that I shall be married, but because I'm only thinking of my last wedding.

I remember the depression, my first drink, the swipe to my jaw, and the words that hit me like a bullet.

_"Because Katniss is pregnant, with my child."_

Aauboria probably knew that Aimmee is rich, and together our two stupid sums of blood money with make her even richer. A damn arranged marriage that benefits only her and the public eye.

Before I know it I'm taking a ticket out of my draw, a grey paper rectangle with neatly printed words: "x1 Train ticket to district 12"

Katniss sent it too me in an attempt to get me back nearly five years ago, and obviously I didn't use it. Or even reply.

All I know is I need a break from the sickly colours, the damn perfection of everything. Back to my home.

_I'm coming home._

The train station is a little over a mile away, and I can easily walk there. As I do heads turn with whispers of: "That's Peeta Mellark!"

"Yes, it's him!"

"Oh my goodness look it's Peeta Mellark!"

I'm so sick of the admiration, so I speed up. I get to the station in under half an hour and eventually a long, silver vehicle rolls up. The doors and slick and smooth and the windows are tinted. The train is warm and when I show the driver my pass he guides me to a comfortable seat.

I am waited by a small girl, 15 at the oldest with large dark eyes and long silky dark waves that only make me think of Rue.

Her eyes widen when she sees me as she says:

"You are Peeta Mellark aren't you!" She says.

I nod non-committally.

"My friends and I think your amazing!" She says shyly, then walks away.

The thing is I am not this perfect person I am seen to be. I am not virtuous anymore, neither am I kind nor angelic. I am a smooth talker at best.

The truth is I am a borderline acaholic, and womaniser and an actor.

The truth is I am a mess.

After a few hours the doors slide open and I am taken into a brand new world.

_Tell the world I'm coming home..._


	3. Chapter 2: Home town glory

_**A/N - Thank you for all your lovely reivews! (I love you all) **_

_**I'm hoping to update reguarly, however I might not update show much in the academic week. (work to do)**_

_LYRICS_

_Think twice before you touch my girl_

_Come around I'll let you feel the burn_

_Think twice before you touch my girl_

_Come around come around no more_

_Think twice before you touch my girl_

_Come around I'll let you feel the burn_

_Think twice before you touch my girl_

_Come around no more_

_Think twice: Eve 6_

_Second__ lyrics_

District 12 still has that identical dismal atmosphere that it did five years. I want to hide from the ashen-lined streets, from the grey skies which are now splitting open to spill rain. I suppose it's better than the sickly colours of the capitol

Even though I've spent the last five years traveling around Panem, I still see the miserable town area of District 12 as my home. But while I'm walking down the ally towards the victor's village everything seems so alien. The faces that work in the shops who were once my friends, now stare at me like strangers. But when I pass the apartment I grew up in memories come flashing back little by little.

When I was younger my mother hit me so hard that sometimes I felt every wisp of air once being knocked from my lungs. Yet that was nothing compared to the immediate pain of when I got stabbed in the leg in the arena, the pain knocked me out and yet for days afterwards the pangs of pain made me want to scream, yet I was silent, for her. The pain of my wedding disaster was so numbing I still hits me today, but the deepest scars were not set here, or even the games. They were set in the cells of the capitol. The place they call bliss.

The victor's village has more residents now. As there is no hope by them being filled by victors, why waste good houses. I notice not my house is filled, even though no-one has been in there for five years.

I think my mother actually hated that I won the games. When I returned from the games every member of my family looked genuinely proud, but they were also scared too. Their innocent Peeta who refused to kill a spider had turned into a killing machine.

_I was hazy outside when I stepped out of the train doors. I first saw my family, huddled together staring at me as if I was an alien._

_"Peeta!" my eldest brother says, breaking the silence between us._

_There's awkward silence before my other brother, Lucio says_

_"Sorry to offend you or anything, but I'm genuinly surprised you actually returned."_

_I laugh an awkward, breathy laugh and say nothing._

_"So, is your new leg uncomfortable?" Daniel says, kicking it for good measure._

_"Yeah, kind of." I say "But kicking it doesn't really help."_

_I look at my mother, giving her a small smile, as id to say: "Bet it's a surprise I retuned."_

_She quickly embraces me, before saying._

_"Good job Peeta."_

Obviously they are all dead now.

Heads turn to look at me as I walk by. I don't glance in their direction, I just look ahead.

When I unlock the door the temperature of the room hits me like a wall. It feels so empty with nobody in it but me, the still plush white couches still in their perfect condition I always kept them in. The smell of burnt bread still lingers, but there are also still shrouds of green bottles scattered on the floor, angry fist marks in the walls.

I sit down on a couch and think about my future wedding. It's not the first time I've had an arranged marridge really, to get money this time though, not to save lives.

There are a few small boxes I left outside, and I guess I should go collect them. Outside is still dismal. I grab a bottle and I realise I'm still in the damn suit I fell asleep in last night after the dumb party Aauboria made me attend. I guess I just fell asleep on the floor...

I've changed so much, not the boy I used to be.

When I walk outside I find a woman has upset the boxes and is hastily trying to pick them up. I help her and I meet her eyes over one of the boxes. Pale grey eyes.

I rip the boxes away from Katniss Everdeen and walk inside.

To be continued...

**Sooo did you like it? Please review, next chapter the song fic will be Alone again, so yeah...**

**Forgive me if I don't get it up by tomorrow, I have school. :(**

**( Sorry for the kinda short chapter, is it short, I don't know...)**

**Review, I bought more cookies! Nom Nom Nom**

**Fanfics of the week:**

**Katniss reads Fanfiction **

**The love games**


	4. Chapter 3: Alone

**a/n - hi guys! Sorry I haven'u updated in awhile, sorry, I'm trying to make my chapters longer. This chapter might be longer. I've been buzy all week with a play sooo...**

_**LYRICS:**_

_**till now, always got by on my own **_

_**I never really cared until I met you.**_

_**And now it chills me to the bone. **_

_**How do I get you alone?**_

**-Alone again-**

KATNISS POV

I run after Peeta, into his house which I haven't even dared to look at for the past five years. Every fibere of my being is telling me you will make things worse, my my heart is screaming for him, for his affection, for his love. But that is over. Because of that damn fateful day.

The night I slept with Gale is distant, thick with drink and regret. But I remember. The night I made the biggest damn mistake of my life.

_"Katniss, you know your getting married in less than a month. Only you seem perfectly okay." Gale says, his stormy grey eyes clouding over._

_"Why wouldn't I be?"_

_"What if you change your mind?"_

_"I love him Gale, I will never have that with you, I'm sorry."_

_"You are making a massive mistake, Katniss." Says Gale. "Why do you stay with him? What if he hurts you?"_

_"Because every time his hijacking acts up, he'll lock himself outside and come back loving me a little more." I say quietly, every single word only the truth._

_"Katniss I see him with you everday and it kills me, he's not right for you-"_

_I cut him short. "That's where you're wrong Gale. It's taken me two years, a war, and all his painfor me to realise that without him, I'm a little girl, and without him I couldn't of coped. He was always there for me even when I was a bitch, he still didn't care. And when he was gone in the capitol, I hurt so badly to know he'd never see me the same way again."_

_Before I know it I notice I drinking from the vodka bottle Haymitch left on the kitchen table. It's fiery and I'm not sure I like it, but I continue to drink. I feel sick, but I continue._

_"But I miss you sometimes." I whisper. _

_And this stupid bitchy girl with no sense of right a wrong leans in for a kiss, and she gets one._

Damn you Katniss Everdeen.

The whole house is filled of the faint stench of wine. The house is still in perfect condition though, as Peeta always kept it. But the paintings on the wall have been scratched at hit, especially ones with me in.

I remember the boy I broke is gone, and now he's the lady killer, the drunk, the celebrity. But I still see the crack.

Peeta is in the kitchen, filled with shards of green glass I have to tip-toe over. Peeta is sitting limply in the window, his eyes a million miles away. The same faraway expression he had when he was hijacked, sad, faraway, broken.

" I know you in there." I whisper. " Not this person you've become. The person you used to be."

I whisper, my eyes welling up and my voice breaking. "And I want him back..."

he's silent, too much too soon I think.

"How much did it hurt?" I ask.

"You know, when a person has a broken bone, if they're a lucky and have a clean break. These heal quickly and aren't too painful. But then, if the impact if hard enough the bone fractures and the splinters make the break a thousand times more painful." he says.

"And the patient blacks out." I say, as this was taught to me by my mother.

"After his best man punches him." he says. " Not my finest hour."

The breeze comes in through the open window and sweeps and constantly folded and un-folded piece of paper. I pick it up and read it.

It's the letter I sent to Peeta the day he left

_Dear Peeta,_

_I feel like such an idiot. I know you'd never you that to me and I'm so sorry, please. I know this is a lost cause and it's no use, but please, say you still love me. And I sound stupid, but, please don't fall in love with someone else. Okay, I'm`sorry, and I just want to say I love you. But what does it matter, I've really fucked up._

_-Katniss_

It makes me jump the when the radio starts to blare the words of the announcer, who reads news he feels worthy, starts to speak.

"Peeta Mellark, Hunger Games victor, has been announced to be engaged to victor Aimmee Green, by his spokesperson. However, Mr Mellark has been rumoured to have been tortured during the war, kept a secret as to the capitol he was seen as a popular personality."

"Wow, life sucks for you." I say."An arranged marriage, people knowing about the hijacking, to much publicity?"

This marriage hurts me, even though I'm engaged to Gale. I couldn't not marry him now, especially after the baby's death. even though I can't talk about hurt with Peeta, he's lost a leg, almost died, been kidknapped and abused my his own family, and of course been broken by someone he thought he loved.

"Yes," he says. "That why I came here."

A/n- yayy, okay that wasn't as long as I intended but who cares? R&R!


	5. Chapter 4: Spark

**A/N - I just read all your reviews and I love you, and you, and you, not you, AND YOU THE MOST!**

**SIKE, kidding, I love you all the same :)**

**LYRICS:**

**In another life, I would be your girl**

**we'd keep all our promises, be us againgst the world.**

**In another life, I would make you stay**

**So I don't have to say you were, the one that got away,**

**The one that got away**

They're sooooo nice, and sorry I put epilogue instead of prolougue at the beginning, I feel like a fool...

"You're going to love Aimmee, she's an absolute darling!" Auboria says, flapping her arms about ina rather worrying way.

I just nod, as is the best way to deal with Auboria speaking. She won't leave you alone till you agree to her stupid sayings.

"And, she's a really pretty girl-" she says but then stops as a cold gust of wind flies in through the window.

"Peeta, must you stay in this miserable place? The Capitol-"

"Yes Auboria, but I can't stay there. Not after what happened to Ivory, I just want to stay here till my wedding, then I'll go back to candyland." I say, cutting her off.

"Peeta, that wasn't your fault, when will you get over her?" she sighs, closing the window

"When there is proof it wasn't my fault."

Ivory was the one person in my time in the Capitol, when I first got there, who stopped me from killing myself. I first met her in an old cluster of shops in the Capitol, it was a hot summers day, and I was debating whether or not to die a death at my own hands. I bumped into her, and she recognised me.

"You're Peeta Mellark, aren't you." she said quietly, picking up the books she dropped.

"Yes. And yes, my wedding with Katniss Everdeen is off, yes, I'm living here in the Capitol, yes, I'm in a bad mood."

"Sorry, I wasn't going to ask you any questions." as she rolls up her sleeve, drawn on her pale, freckled skin are intricate drawrings, done in marker.

"Nice tattoos." I mutter.

She laughs. "Yes, they're inspired by the paintings in The Capitol Colors hall down the road. You ever been in there?" I shake my head.

She giggles, "Then come see." she took me too a gallery full of beauty and colour, I was outstanded. So we made it a habit. Everyday we would go to a gallery in the Capitol, admire the great works of art, make fun of the painting fails.

She became the sister I never had. The one who could pull me out of a drunken state to remind me I was more than that, the person who kept me going.

Until she was found dead in her house six months ago, at the foot of her stairs.

I'd been told it was an accident, she fell. But I know better, it was no accident. If I had stayed with her; she wouldn't dead.

And no string of lovers can replace her.

"I should go." says Auboria. She's stupid at times, but she knows I'm not in the mood to talk.

I stay seated on the couch for what seems like hours. Just sitting there, silently, thinking of Ivory, her pale skin and red hair.

There's a knock at the door, I expect it to be Auboria, but it's not.

"Hi Peeta." Katniss says, tightly, formally.

I don't respond.

"Look, I realised I didn't think through your eyes enough, I mean-" she stops short, sitting next to me. I don't move.

"What was it like being hijacked?" she says.

I'm taken aback, not expecting this question, but I answer truthfully.

"It was like being in a dark room with only a dim torch to light your way. Sometimes it helps you to find your way, but sometimes the light and dark deform the truth, making you see things that aren't there. If you lucky a light will flicker on, sometimes dim, sometimes bright."

There's silence, until I say

"Sorry about the baby." I didn't mean to say it flatly. I just did.

"Don't be. It was my fault, I drank away my depression."

So I wasn't the only only one.

"Katniss, I'm getting married." I say, my voice like a child, "I've never even met her."

"I'm getting married to Gale, and I don't know what to think... I have to do it, after the baby... but I don't want to!" she says, immediatly covering her mouth.

"I miss you." she says.

For one secound of weakness, we embrace, before realising we can't do that anymore.

The years have been kind to Gale Hawthorne, he's twenty five now, I realise. Oh how times have changed.

I don't ever want to talk to him again, but I know I must, to keep a truce of sorts.

I knock on Katniss's door, and he answers. I see the shock immediately register on his face, the first thing he does is unexpected, even for him.

"I'm really sorry." is what he says.

"I'm not going to say it's fine." I growl. "Because you and I aren't friends. I'm only approaching for a truce, and I'd like to say good luck in your marriage."

He invites me in politely, and I sit at the kitchen table.

"You are lucky you know." I say, taking a long gulp from the drink he sets in front of me.

"I know." he says simply.

"A girl like that you can't just let go, don't let her out of your grip, because you'll never get someone just like her."

"Surely It was your decision to leave her?" he says

"Yes, but I could hardly stay."

We just drink an hour away, until there's a hard knock at the door.

It's Auboria.

She doesn't bother to wait for a response, she just barges in. Gale is taken aback by her canary yellow hair, her stilettos the size of Panem, and her ankle length leopard print jumpsuit.

"Peeta," she beckons, "You are needed."

She grabs me by the hand and takes me outside, I just hear Gale's flat "Good luck."

She takes me back to my home two doors down, and takes me into the kitchen.

At the table is a tanned girl with long, black hair and sea green eyes. She looks about my age, twenty-three. She's pretty, and you can tell she's from district four. But there's something cat-like about her, but I can't put my finger on it.

I'm staring into the cat-like eyes of Aimmee Green

**A/N - You likey? Next chapter we'll be meeting Aimmee, be finding out about what really happened when Peeta Left Katniss, and getting some serious Everlark action, along with a mysterious event linking to Ivory's murder...**


	6. Chapter 5: Aimee

**A/N – LONG AUTHOR'S NOTE**

**Okay, so I got a PM saying they find this story is dragging, and I know deary I know. Pretty much the interesting stuff is happening NOW ON so yeah… **

**There is more to this story than meets the eye, and what appears as a drunk moping around changes throughout the story. Don't worry, we'll have murders, weddings, sacrifices, people screwing up and a secret society (No spoilers…)**

**Oh yeah, I know at times it's OOC**

**So yeah!**

**It's my birthday on Friday and the best gift you could get me is to review. I'm so happy about how this story has done, and I've got roughly 2.5k hits since it came up, (which is good by my standards.) and on Saturday we got to record highs with hits. Thank you all so much! I love you!**

_**There's nothing I could say to you**_

_**Nothing I could ever do**_

_**To make you see**_

_**What you mean to me**_

_**All the pain the tears I cried**_

_**And still you never said goodbye**_

_**And now I know, how far you'd go**_

_**I know I let you down**_

_**But it's not like that now**_

_**This time I'll never let you go.**_

_**- I will be, Avril Lavigne **_

_**X x x x x x x x x x x x x x x **_

She's pretty, I can't deny. But there's something about her to slender face and a little too full lips, which put me off. She smiles a red lipstick smile.

"Peeta!" she says like she's known me for years.

"Umm Hi, Aimee." I say a little flatly.

"Well, you two should probably get to know each other since…" Auboria starts

"_Since we are getting married and we don't even know each other" _I want to say, but the words don't form.

She leaves in an attempt to leave us in privacy, but I can hear her breath against the wooden door as I lean on it.

"Why did you agree?" she says after a few minutes.

"What choice did I have?"

"Threaten your family?"

"I don't have any family." I say flatly.

"That's awful. What happened?" she whispers.

"Killed when District 12 was bombed."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be." I say "I didn't really have much of a connection with my family, apart from my Dad, maybe."

There are a few moments of silence till she says "Why weren't you in you in twelve?"

"I was in the Capitol."

"Oh." She says. "You were the one who-"

"Yes."

There's silence for a moment before she says; "They don't really talk about that stuff on the television."

I laugh without smiling, but I see her face is serious, so I stop.

"Well, they don't want a victor with weird issues right?"

"I wouldn't think you had issues."

"Then you don't know a thing about me." I say, pouring a drink.

She sighs before saying.

"So no family, survived the games. Twice. Almost died. All with one leg. Yiu must have nine lives, so surely there's a reason, with this... marriage?"

The question hits me. Why did I agree? Why didn't I just say no? It was the stirring in my gut. The feeling something would go horribly wrong if I didn't?

"You don't know, do you?" Aimee says softly.

"Know what?"

"Forget it, just forget I said that okay?"

I try, but the thought won't get out of my head.

_"You don't know, do you?"_

_X x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x_

Pulling Peeta out of a drunken state has almost become a daily habit of mine. He's coming back, but he's still a thousand miles away. And I can't blame anyone but myself for that. But today, he isn't drunk, or even angry.

All he says is, as I quietly pick up stuff off the floor is;

"They're not dead." his eyes are misted over and there's something horribly wrong.

But nothing else happens.

"You are just deluded." I say. "I care about you, and I know you are just... in that sort of state."

"A mad state?"

"Pretty much."

He suddenly scoffs, "And you don't care about me."

"I do. Do you want to know what happened when you left me? Gale asked me to marry him, but I said I couldn't because I cared about you to much. I _cared_ about you. And I still do."

He's silent before he says.

"I met Aimee today. She said that I don't know. About, why, di they threaten my family. I swear something is off."

I think. It sounds almost like the old Capitol.

"Weird. Like that girl Ivory Blackheart's disappearance."

"Ivory? She was a good friend... but she didn't disappear, she was found dead in her home-"

"Yes, after disappearing for a week. The strange thing is, nobody saw anybody go in, or put. A week after her disappearance, she was found dead in her house."

"Wow. You learn new things everyday. Even about your late best friend." Peeta says. "You must care, she was in the new because she new me. Why did you bother to remember?"

" I remember everything about you," I say "It's you who's not paying attention."

I feel the same hunger as in the cave or on the beach, and all I say is; "Let me show you how much I care."

And then I lean in.

**DUN DUN DUUUN. I'm so exited for Hunger games, are you (Movie!) Sorry for any out of character-ness **


	7. Chapter 6: A crooked kind of perfect

**A/N - You bastards. I always tell you how I love you and yet noooo reviews after I worked hard on the previous chapter. You should be ashamed. Kidding, please review, I'm sorry, I love you.**

**LYRICS:**

**I couldn't tell you, why she felt that way**

**she felt it every day**

**I couldn't help her**

**I just watched her make the same mistakes again**

**what's wrong what's wrong now?**

**To many to many problems**

**Don't know where she belongs**

**where she belongs**

**She wants to go home, but nobody's home**

**that's where she lies, broken inside**

**- Avril Lavigne, Nobody's home**

**AND**

**Oh you think that you know me**

**That's why I'm leaving you lonely**

**You ain't got no right to tell me**

**when and where to go**

**Mr Know it all you think you know it all**

**but you don't know a thing about me.**

**-Kelly Clarkson, Mr know it all**

Last night never happened. I feel stupid, I just left the room, and when and I came back down she was gone. Good.

I talked to Aimee again this morning, she's not that bad, but she's not the girl she used to be in the games.

From travel her skin has gone from pale and pastey to a rich tan. She died her from it's natural , beautiful red to a simple brown. Everything she changed, even the good things.

One thing she said stuck to me though.

"Wow, you're not how they portray you are?" she said

"Who's they?"

"The press, they show you as someone happy, perfect person, a heart throb celebrity. But you're more than that, you're a crooked kind of perfect."

_A crooked kind of perfect_

I like that.

I'm taken suddenly from my internal monologue by a ringing on the phone. From the rusty sound you can tell is hasn't been used in years.

I reluctantly pick it up,

_Probably Auboria_ I think.

"Peeta." a softer, more relaxed voice says, but they've got worry as an undertone.

"Oh, Katniss." I say quietly.

"Look Peeta, I'd just like to say I've never stopped loving you. And it kills me to see you seeing the real me, the bitter, selfish me. And well... I'm not as smooth with words as you but... you know." she says vaguely.

I knew why this hurt. It wasn't because I hated her, it was because I wanted to hate her, but never stopped loving her.

"Oh, and get out of your house."

For some reason I feel I must follow what she says, so I do. I wait, about to go in, but then my home bursts into flames.

The fire is sudden, lashing the hoouse and engulfing it almost immediately, I'm shocked by two things. 1. That just happened. 2._ Katniss Everdeen just saved my life._

As I stagger back I am sure of three things:

1. Katniss Everdeen just saved my life

2. five years haven't changed my crooked, unconditional, love for her.

3. That was no accident. No cigarette on the floor. Somebody out there is trying to kill me.

X x x x xx x x x xx x x x x xx x x xx x x x xx x x x xx x x xx

I knew something was wrong the second I saw that man hiding in the shadows. He was clad from head to toe in black, and he had a matching backpack. Even from twenty yards I could smell the stench of gun powder. And I knew it wasn't for me. The other thing tht caught me was the symbol on his backpack, an O with a sort of R through it.

So I called.

There's a knock at the door and Gale goes to answer it.

"You've got a visitor." Gale says flatly as he leads Peeta through the door.

"Peeta!" I say.

"You must be some sort of psychic." he laughs. "There was a-"

"Fire. I know."

He shakes his head in disbelief, after asking;

"The thing is I'm now homeless. The bakery top floor is still in ashes, so until that gets rebuilt, I've got no place to go."

Gale sighs,

"Make yourself at home." I say, ignoring Gale's look. "I'm guessing all your stuff got burned to bits, sojust go, the guest room's upstairs."

He nods, walking upstairs.

Waiting till after he's gone, Gake asks me "You still care about him him, don't you?"

"Yes." I say truthfully, quietly. I think "What if I can't marry Gale? What if these dreams of having Peeta again become reality?

Gale looks, troubled for a second, before saying "Because he doesn't love you anymore."

"Oh..." I say, thinking to myself. My hopes crushed. I thought maybe it still cared about me, and I still love, him, but my efforts were in vain.

He shakes his head and goes upstairs. And think about my wedding._ My damn wedding_, Is all I can think, whichI pretty sure isn't what bride-to-bes are supposed to think.

I want to cry, I want to be with Peeta again, with the old Gale, in the woods. I want things to be like they would in fairytales.

But this isn't a fairytale. This is real life. Happy endings are justs unfinished stories.

As I sleep beside Gale I think of the man in black... the man in Black.

Someone just tried too kill Peeta.

**I TOLD YOU SOMETHING WOULD HAPPEN IN THIS CHAPTER! You like? It's currently 1:00am here in the UK and I'm tired. That explains the short chapter okay? Night, Night fanfiction!**

**Review or, or... well... umm... Peeta's bread ninja's will attack you! True stroy...**

**Sorry for mistakes.**


	8. Chapter 7: Rockstar

**A/N - Hello! Sorry for the last chapter, **

**Thank you for your kind review! I love you all!**

_**Lyrics:**_

_**But you didn't have too cut me off.**_

_**Make it like we were nothing**_

_**But I don't need your love**_

_**You treat me like a stranger, I feel so rough.**_

_**Have your friends collect your incomes then change your number.**_

_**You didn't have to stoop so low.**_

_**Now your just somebody that I used to know.**_

_**AND**_

_**Cause I'm living like a Rockstar  
><strong>_

_**I aint afraid the good die young  
><strong>_

_**Cause I be living like a rockstar  
><strong>_

_**I blow up a million miles away, away, away**_

_**Mama always told that there's someone looking over me**_

_**Think she meant the guy with the camera tryna **_

_**photo me**_

_**Be careful what you wish for, **_

_**cause the truths a little different**_

_**Dappy, Rockstar**_

**REVIEW RESPONSE:**

**Teampeeta4ever yes, I did try and spice it up a little this chapter, thank you for noticing!**

**Erik review: Yes, I was tired so I wasn't really checking. XD I can be picky too.**

**Samicat**

**SamiCatalfumo Haha yes, that was on purpose. You will notice him realise this is this next chapter (I think he was a bit drunk!) Thanks for the constructive cristism. And your chapter are probably longer and better quality :P**

**And yes, it is very OOC, but that will change soon enough, once are hero and heroine are sane enough to do so…**

When I woke up I wasn't sprawled on the couch like most times, I was in a white room with pillows beneath my head.

The first thing I think is the train to the Capitol.

I get up quickly, looking around, yes defiantly. I shake the door but I won't open. I open the window, expecting to the candy-coloured buildings and streets lined with colourful characters dancing along in the streets, in their ridiculous clothing. But instead there are a few people travelling to work, instead of bright buildings there are construction sites. Instead of snow there is a thin layer of ash covering everything, in the corners, in the grooves of bricks. That hasn't changed.

"Peeta?" says Katniss, slowly opening the door.

Then I realise where I am.

I remember fire engulfing my home, me running out. And yes, I remember Katniss calling me to tell me…

But I don't remember panicking.

Maybe I just was drunk, as now I feel a little hungover, to care. But now I'm hit by a sudden wave of fear.

I don't remember caring, but I can't stay here forever.

"Katniss, what am I going to do?" I whisper.

One moment of weakness in all it takes to change someone's life.

Like when Katniss slept with Gale. Like when I told the world that I loved Katniss. Like when Katniss left me, and never saw the old me again. I shiver at the thought of those cells.

One moment of weakness is all it takes.

That's what I'm thinking when I embrace Katniss.

For most people an embrace would me nothing but for me, it's accepting that I know fully trust her. Which I still don't want too.

X x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x xxx x x x x

"Yes, she lives here." Sir, Oates trembles, "We certainly got the right place?"

"Than why is she still alive?" Master says, spit flying onto Oates' face.

"Well… She might have escaped through a window or-"

Master silences him, before purring

"Your mission was to kill her. And yet you killed no one. Just go do it yourself.

"Master, are you certain they are female? You just said Everdeen."

Master laughs, showing his eerily fake white teeth.

"As far as I know there is only one person who goes by the name Everdeen in district 12. Just kill anyone by that name."

Oates smiles for the first time that evening.

"Of course Master."

X x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x xxx x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

As I walk too my burnt home in the Victor's Village, a gust of wind takes the ashes and lands it on my shoes.

Gone.

I search for something I may recognise. I find burnt food, paintings with strange burn marks, hiding all the hard work. I find photographs too.

One thing I find is still easy to see what it is, and it's probably still usable. I pick up the rough paper and run by fingers down the pencil drawings. Most are impossible to guess, but one it still crystal clear.

It's the drawing I drew of Katniss so many years ago on the training centre roof, that perfect day when life almost seemed worth living. This world is so quiet, and this draws me too it. And I realise what it is, for me quiet is safety, but it's also danger.

trying to take a photo of me. It feels like a camera is about to jump out at me, ad that scares me, even after six years of seemingly being their favourite thing.

My mother once told me there's somebody watching over me for my sins, in their large amount, I think she meant the man the camera trying to photo me.

I admit, I swear, but who gives a damn? I'm living like a rockstar.

But no it's Gale. Again.

"You still love her don't you?" he says.

I shrug, taking a long drink from the bottle in my hand.

"Because she doesn't love you."

It hurts, I can't lie. I do. I do, but what does it matter? I love her, but I don't like her.

I just smile instead.

"She never did anyway."

I hurts, but if the paparazzi have taught me anything it's showing emotions only ends in trouble.

When I get back, Katniss is sitting at the table, her fingers drumming softly on the table.

"You can' marry her."

"You can't marry him. But what does it matter? The whole things a big show."

"You sound _just_ like Haymitch, it's like looking at a clone." She says mocking me.

"You wouldn't know, you haven't been abused by the press like I have." I mutter, "Anyway, I bet Haymitch has the sense to realise we never escaped the Capitol, it doesn't matter about the leaders. It's always a big show."

She silent for a secound, before she says.

"But you didn't have to cut me off."

"What choice did I have?"

"Why do you even go through with it? You only encourage them anyway."

"When like everything I touch falls apart, at least I'm living like a rockstar." I say, rolling my eyes. "And if I don't go through with it, someone always gets hurt."

She's silent, before she says.

"But I still regret that day, I still love you."

She reaches for my hand, I rip it away.

"I still understand you."

These words bring back the old me. And I know I'll never stop loving her.

**Pick up the refs? Love you! review! Did you like the review reply thing? I hope you did :D**


	9. Chapter 8: A journey

**A/N I haven't seen The Hunger Games. Pity me. I'll tell you in the bottom A/N. **

**You know what I thought, I don't.**

_**Lyrics:**_

_**So Lately, I've been wondering, who will be there**_

_**To take my place?**_

_**When I'm gone, you need love,**_

_**To light the shadows on your face**_

_**If a great wave shall fall**_

_**It shall fall upon us all**_

_**Could you make it on your own?**_

_**If I could**_

_**Then I would**_

_**I'd go wherever you will go.**_

_**Charlene Soria, wherever you will go.**_

**Review response!**

**Oh wait, no new reviews.**

**SCREW YOU!**

When I get up my entire body aches. Gale is not beside me, instead is a note scribbled of a scrap of paper.

_Katniss, I went hunting, I'll be back for this evening._

Of course, tonight.

The wedding rehearsal.

I've completely forgotten about the rehearsal, unlike myself, of Peeta coming back.

I run my fingers through my hair and try and tame the tangles.

My name is Katniss Everdeen.

I survived the Hunger Games, twice.

I'm marrying Gale. No one can know why…

I think of Peeta, how I can never stop owing him, missing him, loving him.

But it can never be.

There's a sharp knock on the door. The ancient postman of district 12 hands one, slender letter, marked in italics: _Katniss Everdeen _

I open it, slowly sliding my fingers under the flap.

Written on the smooth, cream paper in the identical writing that's on the envelope.

_Don't even try it_

X x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x xxxx x x x xxx x xx x xx x x

I hate the noise the phone makes when it rings.

It's sharp and piercing, so I either decline the call or pink it up immediately, normally option one.

"Hello?" I say, no surprise it's Auboria.

"Peeta, I have some news." She says, quietly. Unlike her, I think.

"We're bringing the wedding forward, due to err.. well, unexpected things."

I know. The press have reached us, and they've seen Katniss and I.

"It's in a week. You need to come to the Capitol _now_."

"A week? That's crazy! We only decided this a month ago!" I almost yell.

"Well…"

"Yes, I know. Everyone loves a wedding." I say, "Can't I at least say goodbye to Katniss."

"Now Peeta, you need to come _now_."

I hang up after that.

X xx x xx x xxx x xxx xx xxx xx xxx xx xxx xx xxx xx xxx xx xxx

I know exactly whom this is from. It's from them.

The Recruits.

A couple of years ago the recruits formed, a group of Capitol extremists, who knew what brought the Capitol to life. The aspect of reality television.

One month ago I received a threatening note,

_Marry him, or people will get hurt._

I knew it was the recruits from the stench of roses, and the blood red envelope.

That what people say they look like….

That evening the television showed Caesar Flickerman announcing their marriage.

"Only one so evil would get in the way of these lovers!"

And that evil was me.

X x x x x x x xx x xx x x x x x x x x x x

_The night of the announcement._

"_Well actually Caesar," I say, a crooked grin on my face as I hold Aimee's hand, "We have an exiting announcement."_

"_Yes," Aimee blushes, sheepishly holding up her ring._

"_That's amazing!" Caesar says, "I remember your other engagement…"_

_The entire crowd is silent. Caesar knows he's made a mistake, and this is rare on his part._

_The star crossed-lovers of District 12._

_They just won't die._

_X xx x xx x xx x xx_

Gale holds my hand tightly.

"Katniss, you love me right?"

"Of course."

"Then you'll know, I did you a favour getting rid of Peeta right?"

"What do you mean…?"

"I kind of told him you don't love him, but you don't, so what does it matter?"

"So what if I did Gale? You don't care do you?"

"Katniss, I do, it's just-"

"Just what Gale?" I say, "Couldn't stand to see me happy could you? Never could, never after the war."

"Katniss-"

"You don't get it Gale. I can't marry you, I can't marry you, not what you've become."

I drop his hand and slip off the ring.

I run outside, still in the grey dress.

I know where I must go.

The next train will going to the Capitol is in four days, and it will take 3 days by train.

One week.

One week to Stop Panem's biggest wedding.

**Sorry for the random small chapter!**

**I LOVED THE HUNGER GAMES!**

**Only 18 months to catching fire….**

…**.**

**I'm exited already! Going to see it again!**


	10. Chapter 9: Happy endings are myths

**A/N - I HAVEN'NT UPDATED FOREVER! I feel very guilty and I'M SORRY. I've been busy so yeah...**

**I finding this story REALLY hard to continue, so I think this might be the final chapter... :L**

_**lyrics:**_

_**I am not the type of girl, too be rudly barging in on a white veil occasion**_

_**But you, are not the kind of boy, to be marrying the wrong girl.**_

_**This is surely not you thought it would be**_

_**I loose myself in a daydream**_

_**Where I stand and say**_

_**Don't say yes, runaway now, I'll meet you when your out,**_

_**of the Church, at the back door.**_

_**I say a single vow, you need to hear me out**_

_**and they said speak now.**_

_**-Taylor Swift, Speak now**_

Auboria is, right now, rather comical to watch as she runs about the hall, bossing around cameras, yelling at everyone. She's ignored me, so far, but I'm really not in the mood for that to change.

"Peeta!"

Too late.

"What do you look like? Straighten your tie! The wedding starts in an HOUR!"

One hour. Damn. I want to run away, but I know what will happen. I walk through into my dressing room, and catch my reflection in the mirror, my blue eyes clear, controlled, but with a slick undertone of anger, hurt, and...

That other thing that hasn't gone since the war.

I'm in the suit, and I'm in the hall. Right, a week ago came the cameras, here too the candy-colored Capitol, here too broadcast the biggest wedding in Panem. Not from love, no, too save lives.

Why does that sound familiar?

Everything seems to familiar, the concept, Auboria is starting to practically scream _"I'm Effie!"_

All I go about doing with my time is trying to forget the games, trying to forget Effie, Haymitch, Snow... and obviously her.

But all I think about is her.

Not how much I hate her, how much she crushed me.

Just how much I fucking love her.

X x X x X x x X x xxx x x x x x X xx x xx X x xx xx X x X xx x x X xx x xx X xx

The journey has been a nightmare. Almost a week of sleeping in an abandoned house in the victor's village, or the beds on the train. I can't decide which is more uncomfortable.

But I'm here now, here in the Capitol. A lot of people are still wearing their ridiculous styles, but there's other people from other districts too, I recognise the sea green eyes of District 4, the eerily pale skin district 1, the tan skin of district 11.

I know doing this will probably get me killed.

Killed by the Order.

The Order kill anyone who doesn't abide by their sick rules.

X x x x x x

I creep to the door where Aimmee will get ready. I'm looking for a damn drink, something to get away a fraction of this stress. Instead I hear voices, and they quietly discuss the wedding. No, not the wedding,

"The child, Everdeen. What information have we got?"

"She or him are here, in the Capitol, they are in there early twenties. From twelve, not much else is known."

"Why are we even bothering with this mission? We know hardly anything about her!"

"Well, they were on Coin's "List" you know, the one we promised, if she ever died, we'd finish? They were there, EVERDEEN right before MELLARK."

These people had found Coin's "list". Yes, I'd heard rumours about that. That she had a name, a list with the surnames of the people she wanted killed off. How had people not heard of Katniss or myself? They must of lived in a cave. But I'm not one to complain. I'm on that list anyway, I'm going to die anyway. So why not, the last thing I do be one more thing, to save Katniss?

The door snaps open, and two thin men are looking at me, looking at them.

I feel one's gun on my back,

"What's your name, punk?'

I gulp, before I I choke the words that will take my life.

"Peeta," I whisper "Peeta Everdeen."

X x x xX x x X x X x X xx X x xX x x x x xx

There it is. Aurlius Chapel, the place of the marriage.

I burst through the doors, the wedding is supposed to start now. Instead I see havoc, cries of "Where's the groom?"

I see even Aimmee herself is run around, holding up her white gown up with her hands.

"Calm down!" she screams! "Please everybody, just calm-"

There's a loud bang, before Aimmee falls to the ground, a glorious red patch in the back of her white dress.

There are screams from around the room, as more bullets come, shooting more people at random.

Then they appear. Two tall, thin men who have Peeta's arms. They force him too the ground.

"Hello, guests. Today you will witness the assassination of Peeta Everdeen, by request of Coin herself."

Peeta Everdeen?

Then I put the pieces together. The note. The wedding. The rumors of the list.

But then the bullet went through his head.

X x x x xX x x x x x x x x x x x X x x x xX x x x x X x x x x X x x x x X x x x X x x

**Ohhhh a cliff hanger...**

**I'll do an epilogue if it's requested.**

**Check out my story: My Matyr**

**Sorry to finish this story so quickly, but I honestly got bored :L**


	11. Epilogue: Gifts

**Here we are… the epilogue….**

***goes into corner and cries* **

**I now have three stories to complete and do… so I thought I'd finish this one… it was dragging. Thanks for the reviews; I noted a lot of you were slightly against Peeta's death? Hahaha, I seem to always kill Peeta off lol.**

I thought it went through his head. You should of heard the awful sobbing noises that I always make when I cry, as guests tended to the dead bride and groom. Talk about a downer. Some woman called the peacekeepers; they came soon, and arrested the two guys. Then the ambulance. There was no way to save Aimmee, her heart had stopped. Peeta was bleeding, but his heart was beating. I wanted my face to be the last he saw, but he was already on a stretcher being taken away.

They thought he was dead, but the bullet had missed his head. They thought he wouldn't make it… but who knows, miracles sometimes happen. He's going to be okay. I keep reminding myself that. But I still wake up screaming for the lives I feel I've taken… and every time he seems to be there. Watching me, hating me.

What's weird is that he remembers things he didn't before, like fragments the hijacking had taken away. He'll be back soon…. And this time, I'll need to take real care.

Gale left. I don't think he's going to come back this time; I think part of him feels he's taken to much of my life already. I don't complain.

When life gives your gifts, you need to grab them before there's a price.

X x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x xx x x


End file.
